Menang Kalah Itu ...

Pagi ini saya membaca sebuah postingan yang menarik dari Gobind Vashdev. Alkisah ada seorang ibu didatangi dua anaknya yang hendak bertanding. Si ibu bingung harus membela yang mana, karena cintanya sama besar." Lalu disambung dengan kutipan, "saat mendoakan kemenangan itu artinya mendoakan kekalahan yang lain. Berdoalah untuk diberi kekuatan menerima apa pun yang terjadi."


Tulisan ini mengingatkan saya pada keseharian saya sebagai wasit 24 jam untuk dua bocah saya. Yang paling gres adalah ketika salah satunya berkata, "aku menang ... Kamu kalaaah."


Sejak dulu saya tidak suka orang-orang yang begini. Paling banyak di usia sebelum SMP. Rasanya pengen gue jitak aja. Oleh karena saya ga mau anak-anak saya dijitak orang lain, saya pun harus berulangkali  mengingatkan mereka untuk tidak mengatakan hal itu. Merasa senang karena menang tentu boleh, tetapi jika kemudian meledek yang kalah itu yang ga boleh. Instead you may say, "great job for you. Congratulation."


Biasanya saya akan gunakan adegan dari seri tv Sofia the First. Ketika James yang menang melakukan selebrasi berlebihan saat bertanding hingga akhirnya teman-temannya tidak mau bermain dengannya lagi.


Sama seperti pilpres kali ini, baru kampanye saja dah ngenye-ngenyein lawan. Saya terbayang pertandingan bulutangkis Indonesia-Malaysia di mana terjadi persaingan suporter, siapa yang paling menyebalkan. Seandainya saya ada di bangku penonton dan teman-teman jiran saya berada di bangku penonton lawan, apakah saya akan ikut bersikap menyebalkan? Saya rasa tidak.


Karena pada pilpres ini walau saya senang dengan antusiasmenya, tapi sedih saja membayangkan ketika pemenangnya diumumkan, itu berarti kemenangan si pemilih bodoh atau pemilih sesat (sesuai tudingan pendukung lawan masing-masing). Lagian bagus kan ada pilihan lebih dari satu ketimbang cuma satu, katanya ga mau balik ke zaman orba kok ya suka banget bersikap menyebalkan?


Cerdas itu bukan yang semangat tunjuk-tunjuk tulang tengkorak sambil bilang, "Pikiiiir!!!" sombong sekali. Gue yg IQ nya selalu paling tinggi biasa aja tuh. Banyak sejarah orang pintar yang baru dipuja setelah mati, betapa banyak salahnya manusia dalam menilai orang lain.


Beriman itu sesungguhnya berasal dari hati. Toh saya pernah baca bahwa Tuhan telah menakdirkan pemimpin suatu bangsa. Jika presiden terpilih sejalan dengan iman yg diyakini, ya bagus. Jika tidak sejalan, berarti itu tantangan kita untuk belajar beriman lebih dalam lagi. Iman (seharusnya) tidak goyah dalam keadaan apa pun.


Saya tahu ada yang tidak suka jika saya gunakan frase 'siapa pun presidennya'. Gimana ya, saya hanya berpikir, saya lahir dari generasi-generasi tua yang mengalami banyak sekali hal. Bergolak melawan penjajah, bangkit dari kemiskinan, kabur dari ancaman penggal oleh bangsa sendiri, hidup di luar negeri, kalau pas foto sekolah harus buka jilbab dan masih banyak lagi yang lain, tapi ada yang tidak berubah diucapkan dari generasi ke generasi, iman. Jaga imanmu.


Jadi pilihlah yang sesuai keyakinanmu. Lalu tepuktangan untuk siapa pun yang menang. Dan kemudian kembali lanjutkan tugas kita sebagai makhluk yang rahmatan lil alamin.

Death: In Minang Tradition

It has been a long time since I wanted to write about it. But I haven’t come to a funeral of my minang’s family member also for a long time. It was when my grandmother died when I was just enter  myself as a college student. At that moment, I saw someone else’s death is more than a mourn but the spirit of helping to each other.

 

Decoration

Death and decoration? Sounds not match to you, huh?Well, this is why I love it. When somebody died, the room where the body lied was covered by the same fabricue that we used for weddings. Not just the wall but also the roof. And the dominant color for minang’s wedding is black. You might think it will be unsuitable because we use lots of gold ribbon and glass deco which would make a blink-blink effect. But actually when my mom explained the reason, I got the point. That death is a glory path of human being, just like a birth. They whose has died has returned to the Owner, God. It’s a celebration of life.

Well of course, it’s only happen for the high family. The higher class is, the more beautiful the fabricues are.  

 

The Donation

Unlike what I used to see here in Jakarta, we have rules and manner about what to bring when you went into the mourn family’s member house. We call it ‘takziah’. It means we come to the mourn house after the funeral. And to go there we need to bring at least, uncooked rice or ketan with eggs. And the eggs should be 5 or 7 or maybe 9.  We usually would bring it in a large can plate and cover it with wide white napkin or ‘kucuik’. if you want to improve your donation then you may bring a chicken. In the old times, at least when my granny died, people would bring a living chicken. Yup, in one week my house were full of chicken. But now there are some improvement, you may cook it first.

Why is it matter? Well, it’s because the mourn family are not allowed to cook or to go to the market. The old people said, “don’t let a smoke come out of the mourn house.” At least for a week. That is why, the neighbours would come and bring them food. This donation needs to be payed back. There are certain numbers of money to give if you bring living chicken or the cooked one. At least half of the real price. Let’s say a thank you fee. So, if the neighbourhood in Jakarta would wait for the next tahlil and besek (other than to pray), the minang’s family do the other way J.

 

The Place

Where do we go for takziah? Because we are mathriarchy, we would come to the oldest sister or the oldest daughter of the death. Not the husband, not the oldest brother, ladies only. It’s quite a problem when the person died in Padang and we lives in Jakarta, and in order to find the closest female relatives we even go to the cousins, although her son lives in Jakarta. What an irony. But it’s true. That is why, to have a daughter in minang’s family is a way to keep your family close.

 

That’s all I know about death in minang’s tradition. I hope I don't miss anything.

And when I dreamed about my Aceh’s wedding when I was a kid, now I dreamed myself lying there breathlessly under the blink-blink and the sewing of two tigers. And may I died peacefully.

My Story: 33 dan Keinginan Mengurangi

Entah sejak kapan, tetapi perayaan ulangtahun sudah tidak lagi menjadi sesuatu yang menyenangkan hingga patut dirayakan. Bukannya saya jadi bersedih sepanjang hari loh. Hari ulangtahun menjadi momen saya menghitung berapa notifikasi dari kontak di facebook yang mengucapkan selamat ulang tahun. Menghitung berapa orang yang peduli dan berapa persen dari mereka yang kemudian akan hadir di pemakaman saya nanti. Yup, a birthday is very close with death’s issue actually. Yang menyebalkan adalah, saya bahkan tidak pernah suka melihat rapor saya selama 33 tahun ini. Jangankan yang 33 tahun, yang kemarin terjadi saja saya tidak suka. Dan saya tidak yakin apakah mampu membayar semua dosa masa lalu dengan ibadah mediocre. Saya rasa hanya itulah yang perlu saya tingkatkan dalam hidup ini. Selebihnya, seperti melihat setiap sudut unit yang penuh dengan barang, rasanya ingin sekali mengurangi atau bahkan membuang sepenuhnya agar hidup ini lebih lega.

• Saya ingin mengurangi makan ayam goreng, karena saya selalu menjadi orang yang paling banyak menghabiskan ayam goreng buatan saya sendiri. It tastes so good untill I feel guilty everytime I eat it.
• Saya ingin jadi orang yang mandi dengan garam dan keramas dengan jeruk nipis. Mungkin ini akibat sedikit green living yang saya jalankan, tubuh jadi terdorong untuk melakukan hal alami lainnya.
• Saya ingin mengurangi kadar emosional saya hingga titik ... nol, mungkin?
• Saya ingin mengurangi .... berat badan? Ah, sebal sekali melihat perut gelambir ini.
• Saya ingin mengurangi baca fb (terutama saat kampanye seperti ini :p)
• Saya ingin mengurangi malas saya
• Saya ingin mengurangi keinginan saya, dan langkah pertamanya adalah berhenti menulis ‘saya ingin’ sampai di sini. Just ... let it go ...

Karena mati tidak membawa apa pun selain amalan dan doa. Tidak meninggalkan apa pun selain ilmu. And may God blesses us all.

4th Hijab Fest in Bandung: Create Your Own Hijab Fest!

Yes, it was the fourth time! From May 29th till June 1st, the hijabers located in SABUGA Bandung, Indonesia, could have their own show. This is a place where you can meet the upcoming to be hijabers to the syar’i hijabers. They all came with the spirit of respecting and sharing. The main idea of this event is one: be proud of your hijab and be syar’ee (well they were two ^^).

With the ticket price IDR30000 for public and IDR5000 for student, and FREE ticket for anyone who brought her new/old mukena to be donated, the 4th Hijab Fest in Bandung gave everything you need to become a better moslemah, inside and outside. How could it not be? The ustad parade, hijab tutorial, the gathering on #OneDayOneJuz community, great discount for branded hijab, family run, adzan competition for kids, hijab model competition, and Tulus’ mini concert--presented by the icon of halal cosmetics, Wardah. Well, actually this was kind of weird. You know, we were suppose to keep our eyes from men. But anyway, this thing encourage me to one dream. One day, I will be the one on that stage. Representing a moslemah musician with  globalwide selling record album. Anyone want to join me? It is our chance.

Thank God, Dewi Sandra as one one of brand Ambassador of Wardah cosmetics entertained us as part of closing ceremony of Indonesia Hijab Fest. Looking beautiful as always, Dewi Sandra showed that wearing hijab cost less than the bless she got afterward. The road might be hard, but it is possible.

Talking about Wardah as the main sponsor of this event, we could actually get a IDR10000,- discount from the ticket entry. Wardah itself has standing still as the first and the most trust for everyone who want to wear a halal cosmetics. Believe me, it’s different when you wear the other cosmetics. It feels safe. It has strengthen its position by being a sponsor for many events, even Indonesia Idol 2014. Wish Wardah could reach all the moslemah around the world. You can find it online, gals! Try it.

Maybe you could ask Wardah to support you in your own HijabFest in your own town. In Indonesia itself, this kind of event has inspired many cities and the amount is increasing. Why don’t you make it and tell us the story?

If I had a chance to make one of Hijab Fest, I might add something, like Wearing Hijab Competition. You know, who could finish first, win! You know, wearing hijab is taking time. And for this kind of event I wish I could have some special building for us to pray. Many events took this subject in the last priority. Well, I need it big, comfy,easy to access, clean, and secure. Sounds alot? But I’m sure you won’t refuse it, right?

The last thing I want to add in a hijab fest, at least for now, is to have like a trading spot. Of course there are always something to sell, but what I would  like to add is the opportunity of becoming online shop distributor. It reminds me of a friend of mine who is doing business in hijab and has sent it overseas. I mean, wish the people who had come to hijab fest will not only get knowledge, but also community, and a business opportunity. It’s a full goodiebag.

So, come on, let’s do this ^^ Fighting!