two babies in the family is more than enough

No, it's not about birth control. It's about the youngest kids in the family, or we used to called 'bungsu'.
Suami and I are the youngest kids in our family. For our sisters and brothers, we are truly babies in the family but if you ask us, we will say we were never been treated like 'bungsu'. We were very independent for a 'bungsu'. That's what all 'bungsu's would say =).
In our first months marriage, I tought we as a couple were totally the coolest couple ever. You know, because we care less of things. But when we have two kids within two years, and stubbornly moved out from my parents' house, well I guess these bungsus are really learning the lessons.
After a year living without any interuption from the elders, I realized that this bungsu thing is really a problem. When I was a little kid, whenever I have problem I just turn my back and found my brothers and sister there. While now, when I turn back, I say someone who also turn his back and ask for help. I said, supporting means getting involve while he said, supporting means stay out of it. After a while I felt overwhelmed. This could not be happen to Malika and Safir.
When giving our childs' name, I always think a kingdom structure. Malika, as the oldest, means the queen. While Safir has 'Maulana' in his middle name, means the smart one. This is my kind of hope, in the family, you need to support one to another. Protect each other in order to make a big and wealthy kingdow. Malika will guide her brother with her wisdom while Safir will keep her sister on the right track with his brain. That's the ideal structure for me. Because I am kind of sick with the structure where the youngest has no responsibility other than to obey. My parents tended to give hard and strong education for one kid in order to make his siblings follow hihttp://nutrisiuntukbangsa.org/lomba-penulisan-blog-peran-ibu-untuk-si-pemimpin-kecil/m. But that was so old school.

It reminds me also with the class level in the kitchen that my mom used when I was a kid. Because I was the smallest, in the kitchen my mom would ask me a simple thing to do, sliced. While my big sister would do the 'ulek'. Unfotunately, those conditions valid untill more than 20 years later. The youngest means the weakest? That would not happen anymore when you have 'bungsu' parents, otherwise there will be a family full of uninitiative and dependent kids.

So, when my kids who only got separated in 19 months of age, are able to fight for things such as toys, I hold myself to say, "Malika, give it to Safir. You are the older, step back a little bit."
But then what should I say? A first, I try to score, when is the time Malika should step back and when is Safir? But then I lose my counting.

I remember attending a Parenthink seminar with sigoloktoge and Mona Ratuliu. He said that kid's brain is just like a computer. They think in one way. Therefore, they can't think back and forward. And what I did is definitely not suitable, because both Malika and Safir couln't read the message I was trying to give.
So, I try a one fair rule, who hold it first, then the other should ask permission to borrow it. If he doesn't want to give it, then he should find things to exchange the toy. The message is never let your siblings cried for toy or you will never enjoy the playtime.
The challenge of this rule is, I need to involve whenever they play. So I would able to know whose got it first. Well that's what parents are for.

Another equal condition is whenever I breastfeed Safir then Malika is in a very bad mood and ask me carry her, I let her cry for 5 minutes. And if Safir hasn't finish sucking, I force him to let it out after 5 minutes, and let him cry for another 5 minutes while I am carrying on Malika. And so on. Being fair is kind of a challenge when you are alone.
Or when we are trying to tidy up the mess. At first, Malika would do Safir's toys, because she thought that Safir too slow was to do that. But I forbid her to do that, "you may help, but don't do it all. Let him learn to clean up his toys."

This is just a baby step. I remember one time interviewing Alissa Wahid, she said in her childhood there are nothing such as the oldest and the youngest issue. Every kid has their own reponsibilities in the house. And they can exchange the responsibilities  due to the condition.

That is one of my purpose. You can never tell what would happen in the family, therefore you need to know how to solve things together. Then you can go out a be a leader for the society. Amin. #LombaBlogNUB