My Story: Modern or Just a Freak?

Indonesia is heaven. Amongs these chaos, people seemed always like to come back home. But for me, or maybe for people around me, to live my kind of life in Indonesia is a little bit misplaced. Well ... I guess we can't control what other people thinks, right?
In my family, I was pretty known for my unusual decisions. I might have made them worried everytime I decided one thing. Maybe I am not good in convincing people. And the hardest one is to convince your beloved ones, like your parents. And it happens more often when I have kids. Sometimes I wonder, is it me or them?

1. No Nanny Allowed
I am not a supporter of having nanny to take care of my kids. Actually I don't really like if my kids were taking care by my parents. That is why, I founded urgency to quit from my job, and apparently I was having my second expecting. It was my omen.

After delivering Safir, I quickly moved out from my parents' house to my small apartment in Kalibata. That moment was quite hard because my parents tought it wouldn't appropriate for the kids. Lots of negative reasons were said. But I don't care. I need to get out of there so I can speak out my mind in my own house. I think they remembered how hard it was to live alone especially they lived in overseas for over a decade.

For the first months I had an assistance, for three months. But when she left, I didn't want to find another one because it was Hery who insisted me to have an assistance, though he knew I didn't like any kind of maid. He didn't want to bother me, he said. But I don't mind being bother, as long I don't have to see a maid around the house.

Well, it wasn't easy too. Because I became very selfminded and with the kids we are exploring many kind of emotion management just to become a better person.

2. Housekeeping Responsibility
Without any nanny or maid, the housekeeping's jobs are all my responsibility. Well, actually I want Hery to get involve more but apparently it was kind of difficult because he wasn't use to do it. At least, he wants to clean the bathroom.

This kind of attitude has something to do with your childhood. I remember one of my aunty said when I had just delivered Malika. "teach your kids to have responsibilities in their home, because I didn't do that and it seemed wrong now."

What she was trying to say is, she let her maid to do all the jobs, and when the maid left, she did it all and it killed her. Well looking from both side of story, apparently my aunty herself couldn't face that there are lots of things that need to be learned for her kids about housekeepings. And it has nothing to do with age. You don't get it any easier when you learn it older.

Though I am the baby in the family, I still had (only) two job to do when I lived there. To make the breakfast and clean up the dinner. Well, we only eat bread in the morning, but I have responsibilities to clean the table, to order any kind of plate or to make milk/ coffee/ tea. While for dinner, it was later on when my brother had a job and would come back quite late. That was my responsibility to wait for him to eat and cleaned it up later.

My older sister had a bigger responsibilities, in her early age, she had to do the housekeeping while preparing me to go to school (made breakfast, combed my hair, etc), before she went to school. My mom went to work before six o'clock in the morning, that was why she handed it out to my sister. And this attitudes were really helpful. There were moments when my mom needed to stay in the hospital for days. But I didn't feel anything different at home. Even my brothers could go to the traditional market to buy weekly goods, because they always accompanied my mother when she shopped there. So, it's all about making it a habbit.

Therefore when my brother n sis have to live a lonely life in overseas, the main problem was not doing housekeeping by themselves but more on financial management =) And me? Well, I don't need to live overseas to have that kind of life.

Housekeepings? Not easy. But nothing extraordinary about it. I wonder how hard it would be for they who never used to do housekeeping when they were kids. Keep fighting, peeps =) I know I still do.

3. Green Lover
There were lots of things that I do because of this reason. I do my laundry by myself because I don't like the use of plastics in the laundry shop. I use only one disposable diapers for my kids at night, and the rest of the day they use modern cloth diapers. Malika herself has done her toilet training before she was 3. My mom would said, was it too much to add in my laundry. I said, that is the use of washing machine, right?

I go to shop monthly, and if I need to shop weekly I would bring my own plastic bags. Those quick shop spends too much plastics. There are many things that we could collect other than plastics.

4. Pedestrian Lover
I don't have a car, and won't have it if I still live in Klaibata where you need to fight to get a parking spot. And for the same reason, I chose to live in the center of Jakarta, rather than a horizontal living putside Jakarta. In Kalibata City you will have lots of transportation options (train, cabs, bus, and even ojek). I don't have a motorcycle, and don't want to have it because it wasn't a family transportation and I don't want to make my family's life miserable for every curse that people pointed to the riders =).  Hery  himself prefers to sleep on the bus rather than stay fully awake riding a motorcycle in a wild street of Jakarta at night.

 I consume ojek for emergency and only bring one kid. I prefer public transportation, even the kids enjoy it more when they were on 'angkot' or 'bajaj'. If the sun is friendly enough, why not?

People found it pity, but I feel like I am living the european style ala Indonesia.

5. A Little bit Healthy Freak
Though my mom was a senior nurse, I prefer not to get drowned with the use of medicines. I don't take medicine for the kids whenever they had cough or flu. When they had fever, I will wait for their bedtime to give them parasetamol if they were still able to cheer up during the day. Of course I give them varieties of drinks.

My mom would see it pityful "what, you don't have money to go to the doctor?" she said. While actually I prefer this way because of her. When my mom was an active head nurse, we have (almost) unlimited free access to medicine. But when she finally retired, she prefer generics or anykind first help to cure the ill. Drugs was too expensive. Doctors were expensive. That is why she thought I was too poor to go to the doctor. While for me, this cheap way is actually a healthier way. I mean, why bother waiting in line for doctor for hours when you could cure it yourself at home?

 I don't take vitamins. I don't give my kids formulas. They drink uht that have a shorter process than a formula. I still breasfeed my 2,5 years old boy. I don't buy instant food, for daily use. I only have 10 instant noodles for a month, they are for Hery or me during the end of the month. I don't use any kind of vetsin or instant ingredients. And for my cake business, I barely use baking powder.

People said, "wow, you are so lucky to live above a mall. You can buy any kind of food everyday."

Usually, I just smile. I hate buying foods =D. It costs more money than pleasure especially when you have kids whose have specific taste. Picking a menu is an extra job for me whenever we go to the restaurant. I am an "eat to live" person.

I also have a dream that one day I could leave my chemical cosmetics and just deal with the organics. I just don't have a guts to do it now. One day ....

6. Prefer Homeschooling
Lots of parents found it hard to teach their kids, and that is why they prefer getting their kids into a course or a school with premium education. They think a premium system will create premium kids. For examples, Islamic school. Lots of parents choose it because of one reason, islamic. The parents hope that the school will teaches their kids about being a good muslim. But in my experience, wherever your school is, if your parents don't teach you the same way about religion, those formal education is going to be a big of bullsh*t.

I know a mother who asked a tutor to teach her 4 years old kids how to read. This mother could not afford a playgroup fee, that is why she prefers joining a fried chicken kids club for her kids. I was confused with her decision. I mean, if you don't have money then why don't you teach them yourself? She is a stay at home mom! She had a diploma. What is the difficult of teaching your own kids. Well, it's difficult but why waste your knowledge? Not having a job doesn't mean you can't use it for your kids, right?

I myself am trying to dedicate more on this homeschooling thing. need to have more fun on this. Trying to keep remember that the kids need to be happy. Stuff like that.

Well, again, that is just me. There was onetime I feel alone and thinking I was a freak. But thanks the internet I coud see that apparently lots of people might have a lot more unusual decisions than mine. We are just not in the same neighbourhood. And may God protects us and makes a better person everyday.