My Story: Stayi ng at Home or Working Mom??

Kid: do you want to hand out your purse or money to your maid?
Mom: no, I don't trust them at all
Kid: so why do you hand out me to her?

This statement showed many times on FB these few weeks. I agree with it. But apparently this triggered an unpleasant feeling on working moms. It feels like when I was once said about how a nice beauty lady could be more beautiful if she wears veil to a friend who is not wearing it and she got offenced. I said to her, "No, it's not about you. It was just my opinion to her. I am not saying you are not a good person." well, I am not sure she accepted my explanation.

How do you call this situation? I don't know though as I grow older, I found lots of situation like this. Breastmilk or formula. Normal birth or cesar. Syiah or sunni. Untill I stop making opinion publically if it hasn't speak for both side.

After the quote above, another note showed up, the one I've seen before about the beauty of working mom and stay at home mom. Personally, I like both statements. And the first above was actually my personal opinion and experience. That is why I quit my job and not taking any nanny.

But if you want to take a deep understanding about the first quote, you will see that when a kid said such thing, it means their parents hasn't fulfilled what the kid needs. You need to understand that kind of question would be asked if your kids saw how much you keep your material but ignored your kids. And these ignoring could formed into many simple things. Just like a nod or an answered or a sincere reaction for every stories your kids told you when you prefer busying yourself with gadget, saying it is your job.

IS IT REALLY ABOUT THE KID?
Lots of working mom said that she want to have a better life for her kids, that is why she got out and work. Once again, you may have your own opinion.

but I have mine. I remember how my mom continuously said that words when I was a kid. The bad thing was, she said it in anger untill I felt that my existence in this world was a mistake. Because of me, my mom was forced to make money. That was a very bad feeling.
My mom is an extraordinary case. Her mom was a second wife of a simple teacher. She was also like to become a birth machine just to show her love to her husband. And it end up making my mom the oldest of ten. Because of the poverty and many bad things came because of it, my mom dedicated her life to one mission, NEVER AGAIN BEING POOR.

but that kind of responsibility has decrease her ability to feel happy. She didn't know how to have fun. She said the phrase 'my friends' after she completely retired. She was once the head of many nurses.

At the first year of her marriage, my mom once quit her job because my father asked her to. But then my grandmother wrote my father a letter saying that my mom had responsibilities in her hometown (again, her parents and her siblings). Being asked like that, she got back to work. And after years making a better life for someone else, she reached a point when she ask for a payback. And that sentence (I've been working day and night for you), oftenly came out.

But then I found out that it wasn't the job's mistake when I almost said it to my kids. As for me, I want to say, "I've quit my job for you!!!" Thank God, I didn't say it.

So, I guess the point is you should be happy on everything you choose. I believe that  a person's life  is a process of becoming a better one. You should realise that what kids needs may difference that we tought it would be. It's the art of fulfilling your needs and theirs.

If you think making food for your kids is the way you fulfill their need, think again. My mom, she is a super mom. We always had homemade food even if she worked. But the things is, she always me a butter jam  bread for me to take to the school. This was not about the menu, but the ability to understand what I need at school. She said that I was suppose to feel grateful of studying in private school which quite expensive, unlike her. I said to myself, 'then why do you making this lame bread while my friends had money to buy things that taste more delicious. Don't you know that by 10 o'clock your tounge want something spicy, not sweet.' It was little but it matter untill I wanted to be a stay at home mom and able to make variety of menu for my kids. But maybe that is not what my kids needs, who knows?

One day, I asked Hery, what he would prefer do actually. I mean, for me, I am living my dream. Being a stay at home mom, having opportunities of baking and cooking for the kids, being able to write or edit, and still have lots of dreams to reach.

But when he answered that he wanted to live a life where he could climb many mountains anytime... Hmmm ... Talking bout free spirit ... Well, it doesn't suit with the situation. Can't blame him,though. And it made me wondered, because he is not living his dream, how long this obligation as parent could hold on? Is he happy with his choice or not? It is a time bomb machine if he is not happy. That is why I feel happy when he started to do one of his hobby, photography.

HOW MUCH MONEY IS ENOUGH?
If you are a working mom because you want to earn more money for your kids' future then you should start to count. How much is enough? And when is the dateline?

I mean, because being alive means a process to become a better person, then do you really want to become employee for the rest of your life?

I was once said to Hery that I will quit my job if his salary reached IDRxxxxxxxx. But untill now he hasn't earn that amount, but I've quit my professional work for two years. Well it has something to do with my father's side. He is a person who prefer died with nothing left but
his words of religion stays in his kids' hearts.

I was once interviewed a radio announcer, she was quite rich but she said she has no education account for her kid. "I want him to be able to stand on his feet."

While a friend of mine would quit her job if her income reachs IDR100million per month. I hope she will reach it soon.

It would be different for a working mom who just love her job,   even it paidless. If you force this kind of woman to quit her job, she would die slowly.

Every man is different that is what make human unique than any other God's creatures. But we all destines to grow, to get closer to God. If you ask His guide on everything
 you do, may your choice is your best.
Keep smiling, ladies.