KAMYStory: Kehamilan ke-3 di Usia ke-33

Sejak mengetahui hamil lagi, saya sempat sombong. “Hamil lagi? Mau apa lagi, sih (Tuhan)? Hamil sambil kerja, sudah pernah. Hamil di rumah saja, juga sudah pernah.” Rupanya saya lupa bahwa ada sekian banyak kondisi lingkungan bagi ibu-ibu hamil di luar sana, termasuk yang ecek-ecek macam  saya. Hamil sambil mengurus dua anak, di rumah sendiri, sendirian. Yah, kami baru pindah ke Kalibata City 40 hari pascamelahirkan anak ke-2. Jadi, secara teknis, ini adalah kondisi yang baru bagi saya.

Hamilnya rewel. Begitu istilah orang-ora ng. Dua kali hamil, saya memang bisa dikatakan tidak terlalu banyak kendala, beda dengan yang ketiga ini. Entah apakah karena saya sambil momong dua anak atau memang bawaan bayi. Pokoknya ribet, deh.

1.       Stamina Kok Loyo?

Catatan nomor satu saya adalah stamina. Sejak awal belum tahu hamil, tanda-tanda yang ditunjukkan adalah lemas berkepanjangan, pening, dan mulas. Dan ketika kehamilan terkonfirmasi, ketiga subjek tersebut makin menjadi-jadi. Untuk pertama kalinya saya terganggu dengan rasa mual. Biasanya di semester 1 adalah saat bagi saya untuk banyak makan. Beneran. Bagi kebanyakan bumil mungkin semester 1 adalah fase muntah-muntah, saya malah bisa makan menu bufet sebanyak delapan kali.

Nah, yang sekarang juga sih, tapi yang terbesit duluan bukan rasa lapar seperti biasa, melainkan mual. Mual yang jika tidak diberi makan akan lebih merongrong otak sehingga berakibat badan lemas sepanjang hari.  Syukur ga muntah. Dan rasanya apa pun yang masuk ke dalam perut ini, ga cocok juga dengan keinginan sejati. Entah apa itu. Rasanya sih ingin makan buah saja. Tapi setiap kali makan buah, saya jadi sangat kelaparan yang jika diberi menu nasi, rasanya ga enak juga. Serba
salah, lah.

Pada saat mual mulas perih kembung itu, Cuma satu menu yang tidak pernah ditolak perut. Sate Padang. Hei, kapan lagi bisa minta dibeliin sate padang hampir tiap hari?

Tidak hanya soal selera makan, hidung saya pun sensitif. Saya ga bisa cium masakan. Ga bisa cium bawang. Ga bisa cuci piring karena bau. Lah trus gimana dong? Awalnya berprinsip, ga masak? Beli. Eh lama-lama, tiris juga gue. Apalagi karena pusing di rumah, saya lebih senang jalan-jalan ke rumah teman. Bisa dapat udara bebas dan ga perlu masak. Tapi ongkosnya, brur.

Setelah dipikir-pikir bolehlah terkadang memaksakan diri, setidaknya masak buat anak-anak biar jelas asupan gizinya. Jadi ya saya lebih sering masak satu menu habis itu tepar seharian. Pernah juga ga mampu masak sama sekali. Alhamdulillah Allah berikan keringan hati bagi anak-anak. “Amy lagi pusing nih. Kita makan telur rebus pakai kecap ya?” “Asyiiiik!!” atau “Amy lagi pusing nih. Makan spageti pake saus tomat, ya?” “Asyiiiik!!!” Urusan serat saya serahkan pada agar-agar dan buah. Makanya saya malah jarang makan buah, sengaja disimpan untuk anak-anak.

Urusan rumah tangga? Ga usah ditanya deh ya. Rumahku itu kapal pecah di bulan-bulan pertama. Pernah dalam sebulan saya lupa kapan terakhir mengepel rumah ‘segede’ itu. Cucian piring segunung. Setrikaan bergunung-gunung. Tapi yang lucu adalah si suami akhirnya bersedia cuci piring. Jadi selain dia harus menerima fakta tidak ada menu masakan untuk dirinya ketika pulang malam banget itu plus harus jajanin sate padang, paginya dia menambah tugas, cuci piring. Yah, walau awal mintanya harus pakai gaya memelas. Habis, cucian piring makin ga dicuci ya makin bau, ya makin semaput lah saya.

Selain minta bantuan suami, saya juga request khusus ke mama. Minta dibuatkan makanan alias ransum buat seminggu dua minggu. Lumayan lah gizi anak-anak agak mendingan. Tapi Cuma seka li aja kok mintanya. Cuma butuh merasa bebas tugas sejenak.

Untuk urusan setrikaan, akhirnya saya minta tolong orang juga. Saya dulu pernah bercakap-cakap dengan salah satu pengasuh teman anak saya yang notabene tinggal satu tower dengan saya. Rupanya walau tinggal bersama majikannya, dia dapat hari libur di Sabtu dan Minggu. Saya minta deh satu hari untuk melakukan pekerjaan rumah tangga terutama menyetrika di rumah saya. Hasilnya, lumayan deh. Ga mumet juga pikiran lihat baju bergunung-gunung gitu. Setidaknya dalam satu minggu ada satu hari ketika rumah saya rapi.

Oh, ada lagi situasi yang harus saya syukuri. Saya nyaris tidak dapat order untuk koekieku. Mungkin bagi para pebisnis kue lainnya ini agak kemunduran, tapi bagi saya inilah berkahnya. Anggap saja Allah sedang memberi saya waktu untuk istirahat dari segala keluhan stamina ini. Rasanya lagi dimanjain.

Keadaan sedikit membaik di semester kedua. Setidaknya untuk urusan masak dan cuci piring saya mulai kuat. Urusan setrikaan, ya ga papa deh diterusin si bibi, toh terkadang kita harus let it go. Hanya saja saya rupanya ga sepenuhnya kuat. Sekarang saya ada keluhan baru, kontraksi. Perut ini sering banget kontraksi yang emang sakit banget. Biasanya saya ga pernah ngeh lagi kontraksi. Sekarang? Bawa obat antikontraksi ke mana-mana. Terasa banget pas belakangan ini, ketika harus berhadapan dengan dua kali libur panjang banget itu. Bukannya bisa istirahat, tapi malah jalan-jalan melulu. Saya sendiri sampai bingung, kok malah ga dapat ‘me time’ sama sekali? Akhirnya gejala mual, mulas, pusing, dan sebagainya muncul lagi. Rasanya kaya orang ga move on, hehehe. Dengan sangat terpaksa, kayanya ga bakal jalan-jalan dulu deh.

2.       Selamat Tinggal Home Schooling

Ketika teman-teman playgroupnya melanjutkan ke TK, saya memutuskan Malika menunda TK-nya. Berbagai rencana dibuat untuk kegiatan, tapi apa daya. Hanya berlangsung beberapa bulan, setelah itu si Amy banyak menghabiskan waktu rebahan di kasur. Inginnya sih rebahan di depan TV tapi ga punya sofa, jadi pegel banget. Akhirnya anak-anak lebih sering main bebas.

Yah, punya adik ada untung ruginya sih. Terkadang jadi teman lalu sekejap jadi berantem. Terkadang memudahkan, tak jarang menyulitkan. Pokoknya edisi Malika dan Safir ditantang main bersama dalam waktu lama. Amynya hanya kontrol lewat teriakan-teriakan di kamar, kecuali kalau sudah genting alias bergulat barulah amy bangun.

Bagi Malika sendiri, ada saatnya dia asyik main, ada saatnya dia protes. “Kenapa aku harus jaga anak-anak terus. Aku kan masih anak-anak!” begitulah sebagian dari pidato protesnya. Atau ketika dia bosan, “Kapan Malika masuk TK. Kok lama banget?” Atau ketika dia tepok jidat mengetahui ayahnya harus rebahan (juga) pascacabut gigi “Yaaah, amy dan ayah di Tebet aja deh sampai adek bayi keluar. Habis dua –dua orang tuanya harus rebah-rebah.”

Ada masanya saya gatal sekali ingin memasukkan dia ke kursus apa kek biar ada kegiatan, tapi begitu saya tanya-tanya malah ilfil sendiri. Ke kursus calistung kok rasanya belajar banget, ga ada pergaulannya. Ke kelas bermain, main-main gini mah di rumah juga bisa. Ada saja alasannya.


Akhirnya saya buat kegiatan sendiri. Kelas berenang. Dengan guru, abang saya sendiri alias omnya anak-anak. Yah, lumayan deh satu hari ada kegiatan keluar. Walau ga setiap minggu karena kondisi cuaca. Ingin ikut pengajian di masjid KCS, eh waiting list. Ya suds, sementara ini harus puas dengan satu kegiatan. Toh, tenaga saya suka on off gitu kalau mau anter jemput.

3.       Kembali ke Fashion Hamil

Sebenarnya saya bete kembali ke fase ini. Ketika saya akhirnya membuang bra menyusui dan celana hamil yang sudah dipakai hampir lima tahun berturut-turut itu saya senang sekali. Yes, freedom!!!! Bisa pakai baju yang non kancing depan? Liberation!!!! Makanya saya menolak beli baju hamil dkk. Toh keadaan menuntut lain. Lama-lama badan saya tidak nyaman dengan baju atau celana yang dipakai sekarang. Jadi ketika di Tebet menemukan satu bra menyusui lama nyelip di lemari, saya berasa ketemu harta karun. Yes!  Freedom? Yah lebih tepatnya comfort. Barulah setelah itu saya hunting baju dan celana hamil di ol shop.Ga Cuma itu, saya juga harus beli sepatu dan sendal baru pluuuus jilbab baru. Cukup sekali beli, masih perlu beli yang lain hehehe Saya ga tahan juga kudu pilih-pilih baju melulu.

4.       Persiapan Jelang Melahirkan

Sekarang usia kehamilan memasuki bulan ke-6 dan yang sejak awal dipikirkan untuk dipersiapkan adalah anak-anak yang sudah lebih dahulu lahir. Tema besarnya, mendidik mandiri. Kebayang dong, bulan-bulan pertama, bayinya lagi ga jelas jadwalnya, masih pula ngurusin suapin makan. Jadi tema kemandirian diterapkan perlahan-lahan terkadang terpaksa juga. Seperti misalnya mandi sendiri, karena saya ada masa mual dengan bau sabun, saya biarkan kedua anak itu mandi berdua. Malika yang lebih sering bantuin Safir menyabuni bagian belakangnya. Namun karena sebentar lagi Malika lima tahun, saya pun menerapkan batasan baru. Tidak ada lagi mandi bareng cewe dan cowo. Selain karena jadi main sabun berlebihan, ya karena harus belajar menghargai malu. Hasilnya? Yah lumayan deh. Walau kalau ada ayahnya, mereka balik lagi mandi rusuh berdua.

Selain mandi, objek mandiri lainnya adalah anak-anak tidur di kamar anak-anak. Rumah kami hanya dua kamar, dan selama ini anak-anak tidur sama saya di kamar utama, sedangkan ayahnya di kamar yang sejatinya kamar anak. Namun, seiring dengan membesarnya perut, saya mulai kesal dengan keberadaan anak-anak di kasur saya. Bukan hanya soal kasur yang selalu berantakan dan kotor tapi juga kini rasanya saya tidur ditendangi dari berbagai arah. Ya di dalam, ya di luar, ya di kanan, ya di kiri. Ini masih mending ayahnya ga nimbrung. Kalau nimbrung plus kitik-kitik. Halah, get your hands and feet off me!

Namun memindahkan anak-anak ke kamar mereka ga bisa begitu saja. Ada pula yang harus dipersiapkan. Interiornya lebih tepatnya. Jadilah hunting tempat tidur, browsing lemari, banyak deh rencanyanya yang akhirnya ‘Cuma’ mengganti tempat tidur dan exhaust. Malika katanya mau tidur di kamar yang ada AC-nya padahal dia suka kedinginan di kamar saya. Huh

Makan sendiri juga ada persiapan lain. Sedia meja dan kursi kecil. Tapi baru bisa dibeli kalau tempat tidur sudah jadi. Maklumlah, ga ada ruang, jadi harus fix di satu ruang baru bisa tambah barang lain.

Malika sudah mulai saya kenalkan dengan situasi darurat. Kebetulan jelang HPL, orangtua saya di luar negeri, jadi kondisinya agak rentan. Ini bocah mau ditaruh di mana ya? Bagaimana kalau saya pecah ketuban saat suami masih di kantor? Jaraknya saja paling cepat satu jam. Memang sih di rumah orangtua saya ada abang saya, tapi dia kan single. Dititipin dua bocah dalam kondisi adiknya mau melahirkan mah bikin senewen lah. Sedangkan anak-anak bisa jadi ikutan senewen.

Dan karena alasan itulah saya menolak usulan papa untuk pindah ke Tebet. Alasan mereka supaya lebih mudah ditangani jika ada kondisi darurat.  Namun menukar waktu beradaptasi untuk satu dua hari kondisi darurat buat saya ga worthed. Karena saya sendiri bukan orang yang mudah beradaptasi, jadi kemungkinan besar anak-anak saya juga begitu. Belum lagi pengalaman baru pindah dulu. Hadeeeuuuh, parah deh.  Saya lebih memilih mereka (atau salah satu orangtua saya) yang menginap di sini. Toh, mereka juga pusing karena bakal repot adaptasinya. Tuh, kaaan. Yang tua aja repot, apalagi dua bocah galau ini.

Saya pun mulai menyusun skenario. Orang-orang yang saya kenal di pdkt-in untuk menjadi barisan siaga. Tadinya ada satu tetangga yang saya siapkan eh mendadak hamil dia. Haiyah. Ya sudahlah. Harus cari yang lain. Namun karena dia hamil juga kami jadi ada diskusi terkait menggunakan keberadaan satpam yang memang ada di setiap tower. Mencatatat berbagai nomor darurat. Mencari kemungkinan adanya ambulans stand by di Kalibata City. Menjalin hubungan dengan tukang ojek kepercayaan. Semacam itulah. Sebagai back up dan barisan pelindung terutama untuk anak-anak. Agak sulit karena saya ga percayaan sama orang lain.

Yah di atas itu semua, saya sadar manusia hanya bisa berencana Tuhan yang menentukan. Dan sependek pengetahuan saya, ketentuan Tuhan tidak akan memberatkan umatnya melebihi kemampuannya. So I guess all I can do are get prepare and hope for the best. Doakan sayaaaa  :”)

Amy’s Story: Explaining Frozen

I know I’ve been late for months for talking about the movie Frozen. I just wathced it for the last 3 weeks and it was overwhelmed. I wonder how was it for moms whose have been into this fever for the last 4 months? Crazy.

I myself don’t think that Disney’s movies are suit for Malika and Safir. But I still introduce it to them anyway just to let them get into the conversation between their peer. Not really my habbit. Though I’ve prepare myself for the upcomings questions and things that I need to explain accordingly our religion. Well, Malika talks no english, that’s why she asks me how the story goes.

Let me what I need to explain more or differently about Frozen, maybe you can share yours. J

 

1. Why did Elsa get upset in the first place?
   “We would like to ask for your bless ... for our wedding!!” said Anna and Hans in the same time. I have doubt in explaining marriage in this scene, so I just said that Anna asked Elsa’s permission to let Hans spend a night over.
   “Why he may not?” Malika asked.
   “Well, it’s not proper for a male friend to spend a night at female’s house.”
   “So is it proper for female to spend night at male’s house?”
   HELL, NO!
    
2. Magic/Curse Power
   How do you explain magic or curse? I have no idea. It was an absurd adjective for Malika. Then I just said to her that every man has their own special ability. Nothing bad about it if you use it to help other people.
    
3. Selling Ice for Business
   At first, when I said that Kirstoff is selling ice, she tought that Kristoff was an ice cream man. “No, he was selling ice blocks. Like the one we see, with themotorbike, remember?” when I finished said that I felt that Kirstoff was not that cool. ;p
    
4. Why Elsa Wore Less Dress?
   At the “Let It Go” scene, Elsa changed her dress with shoulder less gown. Malika asked, “why did she wear less dress?”  I have nothing to say to support Elsa other than, “yeah, why did she wear it anyway? Let’s ‘dum-dum her’.”
    
5.  The Long Tail
   Remember Elsa’s long tail gown? Malika loves it. She even wore her harnes bag and let the rope fall down to the floor. I let her do that at home, but when she also wear it at the park and the mal, it was really bugging me (and other people). So I told her to wear it only at home. “Why? Elsa wears it everywhere.”
   “Yeah, she is a queen. No one walks behind her. She didn’t go to the park to play swing and slide like you.”
    
6. True Love
   True love. What is true love anyway? This phrase was a nightmare for me. As I can see it in my old diaries. I was trap in the illusion of true love :D. When Malika asked, I said what Olaf said, “True love is put someone else’s more than yourself. To sacrifice.”
   “Like a lamb?” She refers to a sacrifice day, Idl Adha.
   “Nooo .... To help other people.” I am not sure this is the right answer ^ ^’
    
7.  The Ending Kiss
   Errrrgh ... this is why I don’t like Disney’s movies, they always put a kissing scene, it made me harder to explain. I actually kiss the father of the kids in front of them. K pop mania will said it “bubu” kind of kiss. So when Kristoff kissed Anna, I just said that they have became bride and bridegroom, that is why they allowed to kiss one another.  Not really a lie, right? Just because there are no wedding scene, doesn’t mean it did not happen, right? ^^
    
8. Playing Part
   Like always, after seeing a movie or having a moment, Malika and Safir would like to play part. At first, Malika wanted to be Sven. The reindeer. And Safir became the snow giant. A moment when there were lots of growls and slide scenes. But then they developed the part, Malika became Anna, and because Safir is a boy, he was chosen to become Kristoff. And they kissed!!!  *big knock in my head
   After that kiss scene, I told them that brother and sister don’t kiss on the lips. If you want to kiss, kiss the forehead or hugs.
   “But we were just pretend.” Said Malika.
   “Well, even if it just a pretend, you still may not do that.” I said with a sharp voice. This is what I do when I have no smart answer. ^^”
   Then Malika wanted to be Elsa. She asked Safir to become Anna. “Nooo .... Safir is a boy. Not a girl.” Their father was really concern about it. You know, most fathers don’t want their boys to act feminine.
   “But I am the big sister. And Safir is my little brother. That is why he needed to become Anna. Anna is Elsa’s little sister.” Ow keeeeh this genderless perception needs to be grown more. Mommy’s job then.
   “Why don’t you become the snow giant, Safir.” I was trying to distracted Malika’s idea. He shooked.
   “Or Hans! And I’ll be Anna. So we will play the scene where Anna become an ice stone.” I was in a good mood of being creative.
   And they agree. Horray ....
    
    
   OK, this is a hard work for me. That is why I avoid horror movies even if it was a comedy. I mean, kids in their ages could still see ‘things’, you know. I no longer watch k pop music video on korean channel, because they become even sexier. I rather watch Breakout to see the cut version of music video. So at least I could hear the music without bothering to explain those kind of thing. Hey, mom is allow to get tired of something, isn’t it? Just make it slowly but sure. J
    
    

My Story: Being Flexible in Marriage

Sometimes I get upset when I was trap in a condition where flexibility was hard to get. Sometimes it was me, sometimes it was someone elses. A moment when I would breathe a sigh and talk to myself, "This is what happen when you married." well, I would said it in many varieties of tones. From the upset tone till the let it go tone.

For example, when I need to meet some friends with the kids. I prefer it at someone's home rather than in a mal. When it has to be in a mal, then I prefer a place with a playground, so it won't get the kids bored or being out of my sight area. You want a nice n relax chit chat with your friends, right? Especially when you don't bring your husband along.

Asking my husband to handle the kids alone is also another discussion. Is it weekdays or weekend? How long will it be? In my experience, I shouldn't be in the same area with them or you will be caught by them. And my schedule is in a lower level than his job, so .... Yeah .... Thank God, he has no job on the weekend. Not always =)

Sometimes it would be easier when I don't have to bring my husband along. At least there are no discussion about the distance, the place, or the relation between me, my friends, and him. Again, this is what we call marriage =D

After everything is fix. Then I need to wait the other side is fix too. Fiuh ...

 Don't want to assume it a burden actually, just need to practice my strategies. People said you need to have plan a, plan b, and so on, so there will be no such thing as failure. You can always do something else to have fun. Or for many people, doing nothing is a great pleasure.

Have a great long weekend everybody. =)

Amy's Story: Scheduling My Cellphone's Time

Go xi fa chai people =D

Well @kalibatacity feels like we are celebrating korean lunar  new year (is it the same?). Anyway, after three new years in three months, I've finally decided what my resolution is. Yup, just one.

 Actually I have plenty of them, but I prefer to announce just one resolution to the world.

My resolution for 2014 or whatever the latest year is to scheduling my cellphone's time. You may not know, but I used my phone to check my fb accound like hundreds of time in a day.

Am I famous? No.
Do I have lots of clients to be handled? No
Do I make money from it? Most of them, no.

And on the last new year eve, Malika told me and her father, "Ayah, stop smoking or you will be dead. Amy, stop playing around with your cellphone. play with me."

Bulls eye everybody.

It reminded me of one of the text of Melanie Subono that I edited a couple weeks ago. She wrote, Why do we bother to answer someone else outthere when you don't have any energy to give a nod, an answer to someone that sit in front of you?

 Admit it, we do that for many time yet we are not the one who to be called gadget generation. Can you imagine what it would be when our kids grow bigger? Maybe an exactly the same scene as the movie Wall E.

I am not proud of my habit. Many times I asked myself:
"Why do you have to pretend to be busy with nothing, while you are the one who decided to resign from your office and said will use your time to take care your kids?"
"Why do you have to act busy with business when actually you haven't have that much demand either for baking nor editing? Why don't use your spare time with your kids before you are really busy with business?"
"Why do you have to open your social media account when you don't updating them?"
"Why ... ?" oh why ....

But that many times I also smile to my tought and continued tapping. This is a real bad habit.

These weeks I've tried to make my cell's time efficiently valuable. I actually love when I posted a blog and then reading people's comments, getting too excited to keep the trending. maybe I should hold it a little while. A pause moment for three hours, maybe?

And to make it valuable, I have to make sure that I do something that has something to do with the business. Not just becoming a passive internet geeks, not getting quite smarter but surely not being more popular or richer. Hey, you need to make a mark of your own, right?

Sometimes I used my cell as a denial. Especially when I got sleepy by the afternoon while the kids were still on fire. Just to make my eyes open, I kept busy with my cell. But unfortunately, it won't do for the kids because you are not BEING with them. They became even more brutal by this.

You are welcome to be late for any news, but don't be late to recognize what had/is/will happen/ed with your kids. Oh, I understand this sentence so much, but again in the name of denial or excuses I said to myself, "But sometimes I need a break!" Too bad I took a too long break. And still not feeling grateful about it.

Yes, grateful. I need to learn more about that. I should have feel grateful when I haven't had big business yet, so I can focusing myself with me and my kids. There are lots of mental homeworks to be accomplished. This is the time, maybe one day you will busy with business but at that time your kids might become your extra hand. =D

I know what my problem is, but too lazy too change it.  I guess 'lazy' is the keyword for this year. No more laziness, Amy.

Keep the spirit. Burn it up! And run fast ... Beautifully ... And let your cells updating your social media, they can wait. They will follow. But never leave your kids.

Need to mark those sentences on my mind. That was my other brain who wrote it =P
Fighting, moms!