(As written in my fb's note)
Wow, lots of months has passed with nothing I've written in this note. Busy, is the only reason. And thank God I still have things to get busy with.
Well another amy's story but almost the same topics. As u might read, I have problems in controlling my emotions when facing my kids especially when they are trying to get emotionally smarter.
A couple weeks ago was nightmares for the three of us, I suppose. It has been quite a long time since I got that mad the last time. I was kind of mark it on the calendar so I can make my own grow chart. At the end, I prefer locking myself in my room and trying so hard to think what I have done wrongs. Is it the gadget, is it the lack of sleep, is it about lack of me time ... Lots of things had happened and these objects circuling my head like an evil carrousel, but then suddenly I stop thinking and let my lips whispering 'astagfirullah hal 'adziim'.
I remember reading a book for Malika n Safir that said that everytime u've done bad things, say 'astagfirullah hal 'adziim'.
Kind of lame? Yeah, maybe. Because I actually not that kind of person. I might say 'pardon me', 'excuse me', 'thank you' to all people from the cleaning service till the CEO, but I don't do that to God. I'm not a person who continuosly say 'subhanallah' everytime I got amaze, I don't say 'alhamdulillah' out loud whenever I got a seat in a bus or train, I just don't do that. Not because I don't respect God (Ieven don't say Allah out loud), but I feel a tense of riya whenever I try to do this. So, when I got so tense with the kids, it was that moment that making me want to say istigfar many times.
When I was in highschool, I used to zikr on my way to school or before I got to bed. That was a long long time ago, and I think the magic has slowly fade away. That's why I felt powerless.
I remember smiling when my late mother in law continuosly said basmalah when we want to cross the street. It was like hearing someone starting his car engine but never really hit it so it will sound like a bad 'ngik ngik'. But then I remember one of my friend story about an old and a maulana, this old man said his pray in a absolutely wrong pronounciation but end up walking on water, while the maulana couldn't do it even he say it fluently. God knows best.
At the bottom line, I just want to say we might not be a perfect parents, but let our religion makes it perfect. So keep close to God, everybody. And your family will be protected.
Have a nice day and eat cupcakes =)
Wow, lots of months has passed with nothing I've written in this note. Busy, is the only reason. And thank God I still have things to get busy with.
Well another amy's story but almost the same topics. As u might read, I have problems in controlling my emotions when facing my kids especially when they are trying to get emotionally smarter.
A couple weeks ago was nightmares for the three of us, I suppose. It has been quite a long time since I got that mad the last time. I was kind of mark it on the calendar so I can make my own grow chart. At the end, I prefer locking myself in my room and trying so hard to think what I have done wrongs. Is it the gadget, is it the lack of sleep, is it about lack of me time ... Lots of things had happened and these objects circuling my head like an evil carrousel, but then suddenly I stop thinking and let my lips whispering 'astagfirullah hal 'adziim'.
I remember reading a book for Malika n Safir that said that everytime u've done bad things, say 'astagfirullah hal 'adziim'.
Kind of lame? Yeah, maybe. Because I actually not that kind of person. I might say 'pardon me', 'excuse me', 'thank you' to all people from the cleaning service till the CEO, but I don't do that to God. I'm not a person who continuosly say 'subhanallah' everytime I got amaze, I don't say 'alhamdulillah' out loud whenever I got a seat in a bus or train, I just don't do that. Not because I don't respect God (Ieven don't say Allah out loud), but I feel a tense of riya whenever I try to do this. So, when I got so tense with the kids, it was that moment that making me want to say istigfar many times.
When I was in highschool, I used to zikr on my way to school or before I got to bed. That was a long long time ago, and I think the magic has slowly fade away. That's why I felt powerless.
I remember smiling when my late mother in law continuosly said basmalah when we want to cross the street. It was like hearing someone starting his car engine but never really hit it so it will sound like a bad 'ngik ngik'. But then I remember one of my friend story about an old and a maulana, this old man said his pray in a absolutely wrong pronounciation but end up walking on water, while the maulana couldn't do it even he say it fluently. God knows best.
At the bottom line, I just want to say we might not be a perfect parents, but let our religion makes it perfect. So keep close to God, everybody. And your family will be protected.
Have a nice day and eat cupcakes =)
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