Amy's Story: Try to Let It Go

Kids's hobby has become more expensive nowadays. I am talking about how kids are allowed to operate a digital camera by themselves.

Actually I don't really agree of letting Malika hold a camera by herself, but Malika has shown her interest on taking pictures in a very early age and her father is also like photography, that's why I let her do that.
I believe that when you decided to give something to your kids, you also give your heart to let it go, in case it broke or gone.  Ikhlas. Don't give them your home keys if you don't want to lose it. Don't give them things and threat them with a punishment.

I know that. I keep repeating in my head not to do anything that will make my kids less interest. Let them grow. I said repeatedly.

But when Malika was busy making selfie
pictures and she became too excited, the camera fell a couple times and at the last time it caused damage on the screen. I've seen this before but today was the worst and I am not sure that it will recover by itself (by another accident) just like before.

And when I mourned while holding the camera, Malika just said a quick 'sorry' and continued to play other thing. I was quite upset and asked her why did she feel easy about it. Didn't she know that it was valuable? And I have many sentences that my mom used to say everytime I broke things, it was in my tounge already. But Malika said, "I've said sorry and there is nothing I can do."

I felt like I want to bite her but I know it won't change a thing. Like she said, there is nothing we can do. And feeling unsatisfied, I decided not to play nor talk with her (and her brother) for almost an hour.

Well, I do have some housekeepings things to do, but at least I could do this and ignoring them that keep asking me to play with. And in my silence, my mind remembered my mom's childhood story.
My mom was born prematured, people said she looked like a rat because she was very small. But she survived but was finally able to walk by the age of four. As the oldest daughter in minang's society, my mom was asked to do houseworks in early age. And because her premature, she was hard to find her balance and kept breaking plates whenever she cleaned it. And that time, you should walk very far to the river to wash it. And my mom always remembered how her mom would get angry about it and would say mean words. While my father has almost the same story. He told us how his mom would take the breaking glass and tried to wipe it on his armpit just to scared him so he won't break it again next time. Such a horror.

But then my father said, that their parents had never learn about the life of things. When it broke or gone, it means it was the end of its life. And everything would died eventually. That's why, no need to feel hard about it.

This is true, but to really accept it, is hard to do. Hery himself is a person who can't keep his belongings. I barely found his childhood stuff, even his pictures, because he doesn't really pay attention about it. He has almost everything when he was kid but in the end he doesn't own it anymore. I said to him, if his wife doesn't has a life maybe he will lose it too.

While I like keeping things. Not because I have alot, but because I don't always have everything. And because I like to make some handy arts.

When I have kids, I am still not sure how am I suppose  to do. I mean, I've seen how my nephew got obsessed on everything and kept her belongings tight. Somehow, I don't really like it. But seeing how Malika (and Safir) could easily break things and still feel happy after that, is also annoyed me.

So after almost an hour, I finally say something to her.  that I was sad about the camera and she could not able to use it now. And if one day she will use a camera again (her father promised her intax cam on her birthday-hey I want it too), she need to promise to take good care of it. And when she saw tears in my eyes, at that time she also felt sad. I guess what really matter for her is not the thing but the human =) and who knows, maybe years from now she will capture many human soul from her camera.
#stilltrying
#my500words